Each evening,
a father would bring his daughter down to the water’s edge and show her the river’s secrets. As they
sat quietly one evening, a mother wolf appeared on the bank and began drinking with her pups.
“Did you know
that inside each person lives two wolf packs?” asked the father.
She was a clever
daughter, who knew that she was much too small to contain even one wolf, so she asked her father to explain.
“The first
wolf pack has six siblings,” he said. “They are anger, envy, greed, resentment, revenge and lies. The other wolf
pack also has six siblings. They are fairness, joy, love, empathy, forgiveness and truth. Every day, both of these wolf packs
struggle and fight to keep their hold on your life."
"Which wolf pack
wins?" the daughter asked with wide eyes.
"The pack you feed
the most."
What feeds the wolf packs inside of your mind?
Your focus and your attention.
I knew a girl who rode life’s rapids. She was good
at riding the rapids. Whenever she finished one rapid, she started preparing for the next. She only felt safe preparing for
rapids, so she focused all of her attention upon surviving life’s rapids. Eventually, her life became one long rapid,
and she missed the rest of the river entirely.
The power of focus
says that if you only look for rapids, you will not see the calm. In other words, the more you concentrate on rapids,
the more your brain will actually devote its resources to spotting rapids. Until eventually, rapids dominate your every thought
and begin to affect your behavior...
How can you use
the power of focus to build a worthwhile journey?
You’ll need to incorporate five exercises into your
daily practice.
1. Imagine the future you want
2. Notice your distractions
3. Understand how you process sensory
data
4. Exercise and stretch your attention
span daily
5. Practice controlling your negative
emotions
Techniques for incorporating all five of these exercises
into daily practice are fully examined in A River Worth Riding: Fourteen Rules for Navigating Life. You'll find links
to Amazon.com in our Galley should you wish to purchase a copy. If you would like to read the rest of this chapter without purchasing a copy of
the book, click here.
What’s the bottom line on focus?
William James once wrote, “The greatest day in your
life and mine is the day we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That is the day we truly grow up.”
Your attitude is the result of your focus.
Do you want more fear in your life? Then focus on what
you fear. Do you want more emptiness in your life? Then spend all of your time reminding yourself how empty you are. Do you
want to feel helplessness? Then focus your thoughts on everything that you’re helpless to change.
Whatever you focus upon, you’ll find.
Do you want more gratitude? Then notice what makes you
grateful. Do you want everyone to seem wonderful? Then pay attention to what makes people wonderful. Do you want a sense of
joy in your life? Then cultivate what brings you joy; take a trek through the woods; play with some kids; lose yourself in
a museum; sail down a river.
The power of focus says that whatever you focus your attention
upon will grow and expand in your consciousness until it becomes your reality and affects your behavior. So spend more time
focused on what you want, and you’ll start seeing more of what you want.
Change your focus, and you will change how you experience the river.
